A day in the life of...SAHM edition

My time as a stay at home mom is coming to an end and I thought it was time to share another day in the life post before I go back to work in a few weeks. It took us a few months to get into our own groove and things definitely got easier once we were past the newborn stage. Levi is now 7 months old (see my latest update here). I was able to take advantage of a generous parental leave policy and maxed out all other paid (vacation) and unpaid (personal leave of absence) time off to get a glimpse into the life of a stay at home mom. It has been a wonderful experience (so much better in so many ways that I didn't expect) and this day a few weeks ago is a great example of the fun and everyday craziness with the kids. You just never know what to expect. 

This is my third "day in the life of" post. You can read the other two here and here. 

6:23 am. Ava and Noah are awake, which means I'm up too. I change Ava's diaper and we cuddle on the couch for a bit. We have breakfast in the kitchen, tea and zucchini bread for me, bagels and water for them. I check my messages and follow up on a few things. 

6:45 am. Tony gets up, grabs breakfast to go, and gets on the road. The kids are eating slowly, Ava goes potty, then Noah needs to go too...It seems like things are taking forever. I attempt to empty the dishwasher, but don't get far. 

7:45 am. Levi is awake; I hear him making happy noises in his bed. I go get him, change his diaper, and put him on the living room floor to play. 

7 Months Update (Levi)

It seems like I just published Levi's 6 months update and yet another month has flown by. At the same time, things are slowing down a bit. While so much changes almost daily in the first few months, we're not hitting new milestones quite as often now. 

One thing that hasn't changed is that Levi is growing like a weed. Last time I mentioned that his 9 month clothes were getting small. Only a few weeks later, he's now almost ready for size 18 month. 

Interview Questions for a Daycare Center

We just toured a daycare center which is opening in our town next month. The director did a wonderful job walking us through the different routines and policies, and gave specific examples for what the kids may be doing in each room. 

We have four years of daycare experience, and have had kids in all rooms, from infant to pre-k, so we already have a good feel for what to look out for. I remember touring our current daycare when we were pregnant with Noah and I didn't really know what to ask. Especially the older kids' classrooms seemed so far away, that I think for the most part we focused on the infant room. I now know better. Time flies and Noah will be graduating from his pre-school program next year. 

Here are some tips on touring a daycare center and preparing questions to ask. 

Lactation Oatmeal Cookies - Winter Edition

I've been making these cookies for a few months now. And don't get thrown off by the title - while they're my version of a lactation cookie recipe, they are my go-to-cookie for when we're out and about and need a quick snack. They're not the healthiest cookie out there, but also not terribly sweet and sugary. The perfect mix of a sweet treat and a nutritious snack on the go. I used this recipe as inspiration, omitting the brewers' yeast because I didn't have any on hand and thankfully didn't have any issues with my breast milk supply, and making a few other tweaks. For my winter edition, I've added cranberries, a hint of ginger, orange zest, and used white chocolate chips instead of regular chocolate chips. I usually bake a few extra and keep them in the freezer so they don't dry out. 

Interview Questions for a Nanny

My return to work date is suddenly fast approaching which means it's time to figure out childcare for all three kids. We love Noah and Ava's daycare, but they don't have room for Levi for a while, so we are considering all options, and one of them is hiring a nanny. There are pros and cons for both a daycare and a nanny, but I don't want to get into the details here why we might prefer one over the other in our current situation. Instead, I want to focus on questions we are planning to ask during a nanny interview. This is beyond the basics of safety, first aid training, background check, hours, pay, etc. and is supposed to help paint a picture of how the nanny would handle communication with us, how they would spend time with the kids, how they would set and enforce rules, and how they would handle difficult situations. 

6 Months Update (Levi)

And just like that, half a year has passed since this cutie joined our family. Clothes in size 9m are getting small and he's still in size 3 diapers. At his last check up he weighed just under 18lbs and was 27in long. While he's still drooling like a champ, he's not yet teething. 

Confronting my Anger

I let things get to me sometimes. And then I find it hard to control my emotions. Kids push buttons, we all know that. And most of the time I think I do a pretty good job preventing things from escalating by anticipating their needs. But that doesn't always work of course. Noah has days like today where he WILL NOT LISTEN. It doesn't matter what I do - strict consequences, patiently repeating myself, positive reinforcement. He just zones out and doesn't cooperate. Ava gets easily frustrated when she feels like she can't communicate what she wants and doesn't always get the difference between "I don't know what you want" and "I know what you want but you can't have it". 

When all of that comes together during times where I am trying to accomplish something (getting ready to leave the house, nap time, or getting dinner prepped), things can get ugly in this house. I'm not proud to admit that I loose it pretty quickly sometimes. I snap, I yell, I slam doors. And once that cycle has kicked off, it's so hard for me to snap back out of it. 

I've had days where I let some small thing in the morning get to me and I can't help but be in a funky mood all day. It's so emotionally draining. I've wondered why I can't keep my cool sometimes. Maybe it's a sense of perfectionism and I have feelings of failure when I can't keep my kids under control. Maybe it's a form of anxiety which can manifest itself as rage. Maybe I just described the same thing in two different ways. I have always assumed these quirks, these oddities that come and go in phases, are triggered by specific events, and aren't noticeable to those who aren't very close to me, are character traits. It's been a few years since I've thought about whether or not I have or used to have depression. Then I came across the above article linking anxiety and rage, and I am wondering again. Either way, whatever the cause, getting angry and frustrated with my kids isn't helping anyone. Yelling at them might get their attention, but it never solves the problem. It most definitely doesn't make me feel better, quite the opposite in fact. And most importantly, it's not the kind of relationship I want to have with my kids. So I'm working on it.

On Bucket Fillers and Class Dark Clouds

Noah was "bucket filler of the week" at his preschool last week. Another kid was crying because one of his friends had said they didn't want to come to his house for a sleep over. Noah's teacher was already talking to the child and comforting him, when Noah walked over and said: "Hey Mr. Brian, can I talk to him for a minute?" And so he did. Apparently he said something along the lines of "that's just how it is sometimes, sometimes our friends don't want to come over and play." And it worked. The other child felt better and stopped crying, and Noah got lots of praise for being a bucket filler. 

Bucket filling is "(s)aying or doing something kind. Giving someone a heartfelt smile. Using names with respect. Helping without being asked. Giving sincere compliments. Showing respect to others. There are hundreds of wonderful ways to fill buckets. The language of bucket filling has become synonymous with being kind and thoughtful. Your bucket will be filled when, at the close of each day, you reflect on the ways in which you have filled buckets." (see http://www.bucketfillers101.com/faqs.php) 

As Noah's teacher Mr. Brian told me about it at the end of the day when I picked him up, I of course had a proud mom moment. Especially considering that during last year's parent teacher conference, his teacher in the previous class mentioned that Noah was often too much in his own bubble to see how other kids may be feeling or may be impacted by his words or actions.

On the way home we talked about how his kindness had not only made the other child feel better, but also himself. That's the idea of bucket filling - by being kind and thoughtful, we not only fill other people's buckets (aka our mental and emotional selves), but also our own. 

And then I thought of this article I had shared on Facebook a few days earlier, quoting "Why should my daughter be taught, at 3, that she’s responsible for placating Max and his mood disorder? I’ve spent my life trying to be Class Sunshine — getting good grades because I wanted to please my teachers, eating the wrong meal when waiters bring it to me, apologizing to potted plants when I bump into them. Our society already teaches women to be “Class Sunshine.” If Amalia wants to be Class Dark Cloud, damn it, she is free to be Class Dark Cloud."

5 Months Update (Levi)

My baby boy is five months old! He's still in 9m clothes and we moved up to size 3 diapers. 

Levi is always on his tummy reaching for his toys. He loves hanging out on his blanket at the playground, playing with wood chips. Thankfully he isn't coordinated enough yet to put them into his mouth. He also got to sit in the swing for the first time. 

12 ways to eat Seafood

Tony went on a fishing trip to Canada a few weeks ago and came back with I don't know how many pounds of fish. Sockeye salmon, rockfish, lingcod, halibut. I had to give things away to make room in our freezer before he returned home and it was completely stacked with fish. Him and Noah have also had luck with shrimping and crabbing this summer, so we've been eating lots of seafood lately. Before then, even though we both enjoy eating fish, we only very rarely cooked it at home. I had no idea what to do and started looking up recipes for inspiration. We now eat fish about twice a week and are really enjoying it. I didn't think I'd say this, but I'm looking forward to him going on the trip again next year. 

Baby Wearing for Beginners - A Practical Guide Part II

In Part I, I answered some of the basic questions about baby wearing and listed a few resources. In Part II I want to share my personal experience with the different carriers I own. I might refer to some other ones that I would love to try, but for the most part will try to stick to what I know.

There are different types of carriers: ring slings, wraps (stretchy and woven), buckle carriers, and mei tais. This website has a great overview of the different types and their pros and cons: https://www.carrymeaway.com/learncenter/baby-carriers-101/

I started my baby wearing journey with a baby k'tan, which falls in the wrap category. When Noah got older and no longer enjoyed being snuggled up in it, maybe at six or nine months old, I purchased a used Ergo carrier, which is a buckle (or soft structured) carrier. Spoiler alert, the ergo is my favorite option and is getting used the most in and around this house.

Baby Wearing for Beginners - A Practical Guide Part I

I don't consider myself a baby wearing guru. I don't follow the latest trends, don't have all the accessories, and as much as I am sure it's true that baby wearing fosters bonding and helps form trusting parent/caregiver - child relationships, I never wore my kids with that being the primary goal.

Having said that, baby wearing is such a super practical choice, I sometimes wonder how parents do it without a baby carrier. Just a few examples where it has been a true life saver: at the airport with three kids, car seats, and luggage; when taking an older sibling to bed with a cranky baby; on long walks with all three kids; on the airplane with an overtired screaming toddler refusing to go to sleep until she was strapped on to me; at the grocery store (there's not enough room in a standard size shopping cart for a baby car seat and groceries for a family of five); at the playground, the kids museum, the park; on trails through the woods that even our all terrain jogging stroller can't handle; trying to get dinner ready with a baby in tow that wants nothing but to be held; etc. 

I don't even think about it anymore, but I'm pretty sure Levi has been in one of the carriers at least once every single day since he was five days or so old and Ava at almost two years old still enjoys it sometimes. So, I have some experience and tips to share I think. I've also owned four different kids of carriers, so I'll review those options here. 

Let's start with some tips, thoughts, and starting points. 

Where to start? 

Here are some links to get you started. Babywearing International (https://babywearinginternational.org/) is not only an informative website, but includes support options. 

Levi's Style - Baby Boy Fall Outfits

Fall is officially here (oh how I've missed the rain!) and it's time to box up our summer outfits and make room for fall clothes. Most of my kids' clothes are hand me downs, items I've received as gifts through my local Buy Nothing group, but at the beginning of every season, a few basic staples are usually missing. And let's be real, I enjoy clothes shopping for the kids, especially when it's only a few additional things I need and I can spend a few extra dollars on quality items that will last a while. 

Let's start with Levi's closet and some of our baby boy fall styles. 

Everyday Style 

Onesies. I'm not picky when it comes to basic bodysuits, as long as they're basic, ha ha. Multi-packs from Carter's, Target, KOHL's, H&M, and Burt's Bees are all great options and hand me downs are really easy to find.

1 - Target

2 - H&M

3 - PACT

4 - Amazon

5 - Amazon

Sleep Training Update - Combining Bed Times

This will be the last update in this series of sleep training, though I am sure it won't be too long before I will be revisiting this topic. After all, we will eventually have to get Levi used to his crib and out of our bed. But for now, let's talk about Noah and Ava. 

Here's what I've covered so far:
Preparing for Sleep Training covered our sleep goals, current routines, and our sleep training strategy. A month later, I shared an update on our goals (We've Made Progress) and how sleep training went with Ava. In this post, I will talk about what bedtime has been like since Noah came back from his stay on the farm in Nebraska.

Goal #3 was for Noah and Ava to go to bed together. They share a room and it was always hard to keep them separate during bed time, yet when we tried to put them to bed at the same time, they would distract each other and not go to sleep. To be honest, I had serious doubts that this would work and was prepared to try for a few days, but didn't think we would have much success. Well, I am happy to say that I was wrong!

4 Months Update (Levi)

Levi is already four months old and continues to change and grow so quickly and I am still trying to soak up every moment.

Here's his 2 months update: http://lifewithmylittlekraut.blogspot.com/2017/06/2-months-update-levi.html

Most of the notes I took when he was three months old are still true: He still isn't on any kind of schedule or routine. On some days he naps for hours, on others for no more than 20 minutes at a time. Levi is happy most of the time and smiles a lot. He giggles when he is being tickled or when Ava is being silly with him and laughing.

Sleep Training Update - We've Made Progress

It's already been a month since I wrote about our plan to work on Ava's sleep. I'm happy to share that we've been successful so far. Not everything is perfect (and I don't expect it to be for a long time), but we've made some real progress. The biggest surprise for me was that this completely changed nap time as well. I hadn't realized how much of an issue nap time was until she started sleeping two solid hours every day. 

Preparing for Sleep Training

It isn't that bedtime is terrible for us or that we have major struggles in the middle of the night, but bedtime hasn't been relaxing and fun lately. So when it became clear that Noah would be spending part of the summer in Nebraska on his grandparents' farm, we decided it's the perfect opportunity to work with Ava on her sleeping. While it's probably time to start working on good sleeping habits with Levi, we haven't made that a priority yet, so I'll focus on Noah and Ava in this post. 

This isn't the first time we're tackling sleep; here are two previous posts if you want to catch up: 

Back to Bed (Sleep Training at 13 Months)

An Update on Sleep (at 23 months)

Our goals

Our main goal is for bedtime to be positive relaxing family time for everyone instead of what feels like a daily battle. Especially for working parents, this can be such a tough time. You've worked all day, and now that you finally get to spend some time with your kids, instead of everyone enjoying each other's company, you're dealing with tears and power battles. At one point, we managed to have a really positive bedtime routine with Noah, and that's what I want to get back to. 

2 Months Update (Levi)

I know, I know, I shouldn't be surprised at how fast time flies, but it's still amazing how quickly babies grow. In the midst of busy life where Ava and Noah are often the more demanding kids, needing actual attention (yes, Levi needs to eat, but let's be honest, babies are a little bit boring), I try to find moments to pay real attention to Levi and this quickly passing infant stage. I'm trying to soak it all in, to take mental snapshots, to remember all the little details, knowing very well that it's impossible to remember everything. Every day there's a new memory, and there will be new little details to remember, and I will be excited about all of the new things he will learn and discover, and memories of the first smile, the first little sounds, the cries, the rooting, the baby hick-ups, the funny faces, his smell, will all fade away. And that's okay. I guess the best I can do is to enjoy it all in the moment and not be caught up in mom guilt when I feel like I should empty the dishwasher instead of taking a nap with a baby cuddled up next to me. 

Levi is two month old today. 

At night, he loves to sleep next to me, preferably with his face comfortably rested on my boob. Ha. Since we co-sleep I am not sure how often he wakes up at night, but I'm guessing about twice after he goes to bed late, at the same time I do usually. 

Levi's Birth Story

Read Noah's birth story here and Ava's birth story here (part 1) and here (part 2). 

Earlier this week, I had my postpartum appointment with my midwife at the Providence Pavilion for Women and Children, the same place I had given birth to all three of my kids and where I had come for almost all of my appointments during my pregnancies, the place where I began my journey of becoming a mother in 2012, not knowing what to expect and insecure in so many ways, where I developed confidence as an expecting mother during my second pregnancy, where I found the wonderfully supportive group of midwives, and the place where I could focus for a moment on nothing but the baby inside of me at a time when life was insanely busy with work, a house, a husband, and two kids. As I was hugging my midwife goodbye and leaving the building, seeing nervously happy new dads walking in with infant car seats, I was closing this chapter. As hard as it was sometimes, I have had wonderful pregnancies and birth experiences and it felt strange knowing that I wouldn't be coming back to this place.

A day in the life of...three kids edition

Last time I wrote a "day in the life" post, Ava was two months old and I was staying home with Noah and Ava while on maternity leave. You can catch up on it here. Apparently, some things don't change: babies need snacks all day and when things are about to turn south, we head outside. The following describes a day last week. Noah is almost four years old, Ava one and a half, and Levi is five weeks old. 

5:00 am (ish, this is a bit of a blur by now) - Levi wakes up for his breakfast. He has been waking up at around 1 am and again between 4 and 5 am to eat. Not so bad for a 5 week old. I enjoy the morning snuggles and try to close my eyes for a few more minutes knowing that my alarm will go off at 5:30 am. The kids usually wake up at around 6 am and having set my alarm gives me half an hour of much needed time for myself to get dressed and enjoy a hot cup of coffee in silence.

5:15 am - Never mind. Ava is up and wide awake and comes walking into our room. All she wants to do in the morning is cuddle with Levi, but she moves around so much and I have to pay attention to make sure she doesn't accidentally hurt him, so there's no point in even trying to close my eyes for a little bit. In an attempt to let Levi and Tony sleep, I get up with her. Right at that time, Noah comes walking out of their room, carrying his pillow. He's not ready to start the day and lets me know he is crawling in bed with daddy. I try to lay down with Ava in Noah's bed to snuggle, but as soon as we lay down, I hear Levi wide awake and ready for another snack. I bring him to bed with us and I nurse him while reminding Ava to touch his head really gently.

hugs and kisses for baby brother

5:30 am - My alarm goes off.

First Ten Days as a Family of Five

It doesn't seem like it was just ten days ago that Levi was born. I remember this feeling when we brought Noah home from the hospital: It was as if he had somehow always been a part of our family. Same with Ava two years later and Levi now; yes, family dynamics change and we all have to adjust to a new routine as a family of five, but from the moment he was born, he fit right in and it felt, again, as if he had always been a part of our family, just waiting to be born. 

Levi is doing great and everything a newborn is supposed to do: eat, poop, sleep, repeat. Like his siblings, he's a very chill baby unless he is getting his diaper changed which he doesn't like at all. While he doesn't mind being swaddled, he much prefers to sleep on or next to me instead of his crib. He is still in newborn and 0-3 months size clothing, but has already outgrown a few things. While many have commented that he looks like his own person and not like his siblings at all, I see a lot of Noah as a newborn in him. His facial expressions, the little sounds he makes, and the way he lifts his head searching for milk and pushes his tiny body up towards my neck remind me of both Noah and Ava. Time will tell who he resembles more, but even though it may not be obvious to many, he does fit right in. 

Outnumbered

It has been almost one year since I last posted something here. I have missed writing, but simply haven't found the time or energy for it. This isn't something that I just quickly write down at the end of the day; I need to be in the right mood, able to let my mind wander, and have a nice cup of coffee while I type. 

Since it's been so long, I thought about doing a recap of the last year, but instead, I think I'm just going to jump right into current events. Let's just say that this last year was fun, but exhausting. We both worked a lot, had the same routine every evening with the kids leaving almost no free time, spending Saturdays running errands and cleaning up after a busy week, leaving Sundays for some family time and getting ready for the week. I feel like every week went by extremely fast and sometimes it felt like we were struggling to find time for fun family moments between work and our daily routine. And then I found out I was pregnant again, which explained why I was so hungry and tired all the time.