Reaching Milestones

A lot of exciting things are happening at our house these days, and when my sister had her second baby last week, it really put into perspective for me how big my kids already are. Noah is turning three next month, and just got invited to his first birthday party for one of his daycare friends. Wow. 

Airplane Entertainment for Little Kraut

As we're preparing for a trip to Germany in two weeks, one of the main things on my mind has been how to entertain Noah on such a long international flight. He is super excited about the trip and loves airports and airplanes. He has already been on a few flights in his short life and has done great, so I'm not too worried about it. At the same time, since it's such a long flight, I want to be prepared and have a few new fun things available for him.

The plan is to keep everything a surprise until we're on the plane and then to bring out activities one at a time. When I picked out games and activities I chose ones that are creative and can be used and played with in a variety of ways, by himself or together with us, so that hopefully he won't be bored a few minutes into it.

Sketchbook and Pencils

Drawing and coloring is fun for everyone, and this can keep Noah entertained for quite some time, especially if we engage with him and draw things together. I bought a high quality nice looking sketchbook that we've used before on a trip and added to our collection of colored pencils. I love the artwork on these sketchbooks and the paper is nice and thick. Our local book/crafts/toy store typically has only a few different options, but of course Amazon.com has a wide selection, including some for a great price: http://amzn.to/1U4g2St
We already have a good selection of pencils, but I liked the ones that came with the sketchbook and I think they'll make for a great surprise.

Sexist Emojis?

I totally just stole the title from a "stuff your mom never told you" episode. This was this podcast's first episode I listened to, and I chose it because I immediately had an association to a thought I had recently, when responding to a friend's text about how she had kicked ass at work with emojis. But more on that in a moment. 

When it comes to using emojis, I consider myself pretty conservative. I have my moments where I'll throw some random ones in there, but for the most part, there are only a few basic ones I use, and typically only in specific contexts.

Thanks for Helping me Grow Teacher Gift

Last week was teacher appreciation week at the kids' daycare. I don't normally care too much about days where you're supposed to give presents (I'd rather get a "thanks for everything you do" on a random day than when society tells us to), but at the same time it's a nice occasion and a good reminder to say 'thank you' every once in a while. 

I had planned to make cards and get gift cards last weekend, but then both kids ended up being sick, so we didn't get anything done. I felt bad all week, but then decided - who cares! a thank you gift will still mean just as much a week later. It's about showing appreciation and not meeting a gift giving deadline, right? Or so I hope...

No time to read? Listen to a podcast!

It feels like it's been forever since I picked up a book. I do miss reading but I just don't have time for it. I used to read quite a bit on the bus on my way to work, but since I started driving to work that's not exactly a safe option any longer. The one thing I don't like about being in a car is that it feels like such unproductive and therefore wasted time. Listening to the radio is great for a while, but once you're up to date on the daily news, listening to it for an hour each way got boring. And while I love rocking out to music in my car every once in a while, I just can't do it every day. So I started to listen to a few specific shows that I liked on NPR. I was super late to the game and hadn't even fully understood the whole concept of podcasts yet. I knew you could stream shows that would otherwise be on the radio, but somehow I had missed that there's so much more out there. Anyway, so I started listening to shows like Fresh Air, the TED Radio Hour, and Radiolab. Since then I've broadened my horizon a bit and now have a variety of shows I listen to. I know there's so much talent I haven't yet discovered, but there are a number of podcasts that I have really enjoyed. Here are the ones I enjoy the most, in no particular order. 

note to self

"The tech show about being human"

Note to self has been one of my favorite podcasts lately. Manoush Zomorodi is funny, and has a very down to earth approach to discussing technology, and how it helps or messes with our lives. I like that the episodes are relatively short (about 20 minutes). First, I can squeeze on in when I don't have all that much time. Second, they don't drag out the story just to fill 40 minutes or so. Episodes are fast, upbeat, and to the point. None of it is really super eye opening or life changing, but they're easy to listen to and cover a range of topics you probably never gave much thought.

Website: 
http://www.wnyc.org/shows/notetoself

Recommended Episodes: 
Forget Edibles: Getting High on Wearables
Two Dope Queens on Feminism

Raising Bilingual Kids - FAQs

This is the third and final part of my series on raising bilingual children. You can find part 1 here and part 2 here. In this post I want to answer some of the questions people often ask when they realize that we're a bilingual family. That way I can also jump into a few examples of what all of this looks like in real life. 

Do you speak German to Noah all the time? 

Yes I do. I thought this was going to be so difficult. I've lived here for almost 8 years now and I think and speak in English all day in my every day life. But I made this conscious choice to raise Noah speaking German and somehow it has never been difficult. Maybe in the same way that it isn't difficult with my family or English speaking German friends. Could we communicate in English? Absolutely. Do we sometimes mix the languages? All the time. But normally I have no issues switching back and forth between the languages if there's a constant - and for me that's people. Some I speak English to, others in German. And Noah is in the German group. It has turned into the natural way we communicate, and I now don't have to remind myself to use German with him. It would feel weird if I spoke English to him. 

Does Noah really understand everything in German? 

Yes he does, or at least as much as he does English. Obviously there are bigger words that he doesn't know yet, but that's true for English too. I have never needed to use an English word to explain something. If he doesn't know what I mean, I'll just use different words to describe what I'm talking about - just as you would do if he didn't understand an expression in English. 

Does he ever respond in German?

Sometimes. I talked about this a bit in my last post. He knows a lot of words, but they don't flow as easily as they do in English. Simply because he doesn't have as much practice, he needs to put a bit more effort into saying it in German. Noah is also very aware of his surroundings. For instance, at daycare, he would never speak German to me, because he knows his friends and teachers are right there, listening in. However, if it's just us in the car, he responds a lot more in German, knowing that's what I'm expecting of him. Other times, it's as if he decides he wants to practice and uses a lot of his German words, often when we read books for bedtime. So overall, he still speaks at least 90% English, but he has his moments. I still struggle with how much I should push him, afraid that I'll be putting too much pressure on him. When my mom was here a few weeks ago, after about a week, we noticed a huge jump in him using a lot more German. I'm hoping when we're in Germany this summer for 3 weeks, he'll get used to it and German sentences will start to roll off his tongue more fluently. 

Does he know when to speak German and when to speak English?

Yes, most definitely. This is something that has amazed me early on. Noah knows which language works for different people. For instance, he knows that he should use German with me, but can get by with using English. He has however never tried to say a single word to Tony in German. With "new" people it sometimes takes him a few days before it clicks, but he has always been able to clearly distinguish between who speaks which language. 

Doesn't he get confused and mix up the languages? 

This is a common misconception, that kids will throw together whatever words they have and confuse the two languages. That's however not the case. Yes, there are instances where he uses an English sentence structure and replaces one word with a German one, but not because he's confused about which one might be correct, but rather because it's the word that his brain had quicker access to, for example I use that word with him a lot more than Tony does the English equivalent. I already talked about this as well, but this is something I still do today. It happens to me all the time that I can think of an English word so much quicker than what it means in German, so I'll add that English word to my German sentence - fully aware that it's the "wrong" language, but knowing that the person I'm talking to knows what I mean. 

Doesn't your husband get confused? How does he know what you're saying? 

Keep in mind that we're talking about conversations with a two year old here. Tony surprises me sometimes with how much he really understands. but usually it's not overly complicated. Conversations revolve around the same topics and context and tone of voice usually give away what's going on. One of my concerns has always been that I was afraid our kids would some day use this to their advantage and try to trick us parents, but so far, it's been going really well. If I need to make sure that Tony understands he knows exactly what I just said so that we can both follow through for instance I'll just repeat it in English so everyone's on the same page (example: "I told him he could read two more books, then it's time for you to get him ready for bed."). Often enough, my tone is all that matters. It's pretty clear when I've already asked Noah twice to do something and my tone gets a bit more serious. Typically, Tony doesn't necessarily need to know (if he's not paying attention to what exactly is going on for instance) what I said. He picks up that Noah isn't listening and can just say: "you better listen to mommy!"

Do you still speak German when other people/kids are around?

This is an interesting question and I had to figure this one out for myself. Now the answer is yes, I speak German to him whether or not everyone around me understands. If I need others to understand for whatever reason I'll translate. It can seem a bit awkward sometimes, but it's worth it to me in the long run. I made a choice to be consistent, and I find it important to speak German with him only. Others are often only confused for a second but then find it more intriguing than anything. Now that I can actually talk to him it is a lot easier for me, but it was more difficult in the first year before he would really respond. I had never realized how much we say things to our children when we're really addressing the audience around us.  
The one other scenario is when I want another child to hear what I'm saying, for example when I'm letting both know that I want them to play nicely, or I want to let Noah and his friend at daycare know that they can finish reading that one book but then we'll have to go. Of course I'm directing that sentence at Noah, but I also want his friend to be aware. Well, worst thing that can happen is that I say it twice, once in German, then again in English. This doesn't happen all that often, but I imagine this to be something we'll have to navigate when we have English speaking friends over for a play date. I wouldn't want them to feel left out or that we're speaking in a "secret language". 

What's the most difficult aspect of all of this? 

As I said, we're almost 3 years into it, and it feels natural to me now speaking to him in German. On the flip side, I am also now used to Noah responding to me in English. Again, I don't want to add too much pressure, but I also want to encourage him to speak German. And that's just so exhausting! Imagine you had to translate every single sentence someone else says in another language, then wait for them to repeat it again, before you move on. It takes so much willpower and energy that I haven't been very consistent with it. But then again, I find it equally important that Noah has a positive relationship to language and communication and I'd rather we actually talk on the way home about all the fun things he did in daycare that day, even if it's in English, than him refusing to talk to me because he doesn't feel like making the effort. This is where I also need to remember that he's not even 3 yet. I feel good about how we're doing things, but trying to get him to respond in German without being discouraging is the most difficult aspect of all of this. 


Have any other questions? Now is the time to ask!

Mother's (or any Other) Day Gift Ideas

I don't really personally care too much about Mother's Day, but hey, it's an excuse to think about things I'd like to have. A girl can dream, right? Here are some things that I think would make a great gift for anyone, Mother's day or not:

Handmade Gifts (and you don't even have to be creative yourself!)

Have you heard of Handmade? Yeah, Etsy on Amazon. Pretty awesome, right? I haven't ordered anything from there myself yet, but there are so many beautifully unique items available already. I don't know how much longer I can resist the temptation.



Here are just a few of the items that caught my eye. And this is just the jewelry piece of it. There is so much more, you should check it out!

Amazon Prime Membership

Not yet a member of Amazon Prime or know anyone who isn't? Why not give this as a gift? You get free two day shipping, access to tons of movies, TV shows, and music, cloud storage for all of your pictures, and so much more. Not ready to make the commitment? Try it free for 30 days.

Bluetooth Speakers

I have these exact Bose Bluetooth speakers and they were a great investment. The sound quality is excellent and they're so easy to use. I love that they're small enough to carry them around easily, but they sure don't sound small. I use them every day all over the house - in the kitchen listening to music or podcasts while cooking, in Noah's room for him to listen to stories or music for quiet time, to dance and sing along in the shower, and even outside. I think they would make a great gift for anyone. Also available in different colors.

Random fun or pretty things you would never buy for yourself

How about some of these cool ideas? Yes, you don't want to contribute even more to people's clutter, but some of these things look really fun though totally not necessary. I'd be happy getting any one of those.




What's on your wish list?

What I've Learned so far about Raising Bilingual Kids

If you read my last blog post you are already aware of all the benefits of being bilingual. All the benefits aside, it was never a question for me whether or not I would raise my kids bilingual. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I had to at least give it a try. I mean, what an opportunity! And we all have heard from people who now say they wish their parents had exposed them to another language but didn't, for various reasons. So here we are, doing everything we can to give our kids the best shot at being fluent in both English and German.

I have been wanting to talk about this topic here for a while, and now that Noah is starting to become more and more interested in trying out his German, I decided it was time. He's always been a good communicator, even before he had many words to express what he wanted, and his English is easy to understand even for strangers. He has always understood German just as well as English, but hasn't been very comfortable speaking it. I can't blame him; I keep having to remind myself that the purpose of language is to communicate; and if it works in English and people understand him, then why use the more difficult (i.e. not as familiar) language, which doesn't roll as easily of his lips? But lately, we have been singing more songs, reading lots of books, and I've encouraged him to speak German, which he started doing - to my surprise. But more on all of that later, we have lots of topics to cover. I want this post to be a good starting point with resources and tips for all my friends who are expecting their first baby and are thinking about raising their kids bilingual while providing some insight into what this looks like at our house - I get tons of questions about it wherever we go. I know it's a fascinating topic. So here we go, starting with my tips and what I've learned so far (remember, 2 1/2 years into this, so not an expert yet, and some topics such as reading and writing aren't even on my mind yet). 

Benefits of Raising Bilingual Children

It was never a question to me that I would raise my kids bilingual, and it's encouraging to see so many articles come out recently that highlight some of the not-so-obvious benefits of bilingualism. It is easy to imagine that knowing another language increases opportunity for conversation, cultural awareness, and experience. It has also long been known that children who grow up with two languages can learn a third language much easier than their monolingual peers and fears that children might confuse the different languages or have significant delays in their language development have been debunked as myths. 

Though this is not proven without debate, there have been a number of articles recently that highlight bilinguals' improved executive function,

"a command system that directs the attention processes that we use for planning, solving problems and performing various other mentally demanding tasks. These processes include ignoring distractions to stay focused, switching attention willfully from one thing to another and holding information in mind (...)." 

The Easter Bunny Was Here

I'm late to post this but we had such a lovely Easter weekend that I wanted to share this anyway. 

We had such a fun day today. Going to the Snohomish Easter Parade is one of my favorite family traditions. Every year, the weather is just gorgeous, the sun comes out, and I get that wonderful feeling that spring is finally here. This year didn't disappoint; it was warm and sunny and we spend almost all day outside. What was special this year is that we added an Easter egg hunt for the first time and a lovely breakfast with even lovelier friends. We all had such a wonderful time. 

6 Months Update

It's happening, we're already half way through the first year. Today, Ava is six months old. Time for an update on what she's up to currently. 

Easy DIY Baby Bib Scarves

Almost a year ago I said (http://lifewithmylittlekraut.blogspot.com/2015/06/my-favorite-baby-products.html) that bib scarves are among my favorite baby products and that they're super easy to make from old shirts and fabric scraps. When one of my dear friend's baby started drooling like crazy and another announced that she was pregnant a few weeks ago, I decided it was time to make some baby bib scarves again. We had just hit a sweet spot with bed time and when both kids were sleeping at 7:30 pm one day I just got started (that also explains the not so ideal lighting in my pictures...). I think it took me three evenings to make them and it was a great distraction that was totally relaxing. I think they turned out super cute. I love them for my own kids and they make such great gifts. 

Baby Essentials for Baby #2

We're almost 6 months into being a family of four, so I thought it was time for an update on must have essentials for a second baby. I talked about favorite baby products last year, but have to say that not all of them turned out to be essentials for baby #2, so here's an updated list.

Dinner Planning - Week Two

I'm happy to announce we made it through another week of successful dinner planning. In case you missed it, here's week one. I have to tell you, I'm hooked. I'm really not the most organized person, but planning dinners has been a game changer. We had quick yummy and diverse meals, and we're not stuck with any leftovers for the weekend. Success! So why wouldn't I share what we ate last week? But before we get to that, let's look my list of dinner options. Every week, I'm choosing five meals from this list to make during the week. Eventually I'll add more recipes and I'm sure this will change in the summer (anyone else out there who could grill 7 days a week all summer long?), but this is a good go-to-list for us. If you do have any family favorites, I'd love it if you left a comment on this post for me! 

Dinner Planning - Week One

I've never been so organized in my life and feel super proud and accomplished after last week. Dinner time is important for us; it's the one hour during the day that we all spend time together, talk, laugh, and eat. We all enjoy cooking and eating, but usually have about 45 minutes from the time one of us gets home until dinner needs to be on the table. If that doesn't happen, Noah gets cranky, starts whining, demands nothing but a bagel for dinner, and can't be reasoned with. Which means that this one peaceful family hour of the day won't be quite so peaceful anymore; and that just stresses everyone out and impacts the rest of the evening. So - quick dinner options are a must. 

Wardrobe Essentials

When I first heard about capsule wardrobes, I was intrigued by the idea. Having only items that you love and could wear every single day in your closet sounded too good to be true. My closet had been full of clothes that I kind of liked, or used to like, but didn’t quite fit my style anymore, or that I really liked, but just didn’t fit right. I would often spend a lot of time going through outfit options in the mornings, wasting so much time, and leaving a big mess in my room. And on top of it, it didn’t exactly make me feel good when I tossed pretty things to the side because they just didn’t look right on me, only to default to my favorite pair of jeans with a basic black shirt. Not that there’s anything wrong with that outfit – it’s what’s comfortable and fits my style, but going through the process of seeing things on me that I wished looked good but just didn’t was often frustrating. 

So one day, a few weeks after Ava was born, before I fit back into my normal clothes, I decided to get rid of everything that I didn’t absolutely love and make room for a few new basics. The goal was to have a closet full of items that fit me well, are my style, and are easily combined with other items in my wardrobe, so that I could make quicker decisions in the mornings what to wear, and be happy with whatever outfit I chose. 

My Lunch in a Box

There are three main things I'm spending money on during my work week: my morning coffee, lunch, and the commute. I’m sure all of you Starbucks lovers have done (or avoided to do) the math of what it costs to get your daily dose of caffeine. While I love my occasional fancy coffee, I make a basic pour over coffee with milk to go every morning at home. It saves so much money and is actually my favorite way to drink coffee anyway, so – win win! 

Before Ava was born I used to take a commuter bus to work every day which is also an obvious way to save money. I have a free bus pass from work and only have to drive 10 minutes to a park and ride. Since it’s a commuter bus, it’s not actually that bad, but having to walk to and from work adds a good amount of time that I’d rather spend with my kids. The other benefit of taking the bus is that it’s quiet time for me – I can read, listen to music, take a nap, or – as I’m currently doing – work on my blog. Because it’s such a time commitment though, I have decided to get a monthly parking pass and drive into work more often. I’m currently on a wait list for a parking spot. This isn’t exactly cheap, so I decided I needed to save some money elsewhere. 

This is where lunch comes in. We have a great salad bar at work with decent prices, and many other delicious options in the area, but it adds up when you’re spending an average of about $7 for lunch every day. So I decided I would allow myself to drive to work only if I brought my own lunch. And so far it has been working out really well. I bought a Bento box and have been very happy with my lunch for the last couple of weeks. Since I already make Noah’s lunch in the evenings, it hasn’t been difficult to adjust my routine to prepare my lunch for the next day. 

I had such a hard time making a decision on which Bento Box to get; Amazon.com has just way too many options. I finally saw one at Bartell’s that I liked and I’ve been very happy with it. One of the benefits, which I hadn’t thought of before I purchased it, is that it has two compartments, so I can easily warm up only one half of my meal in the microwave. 

Here’s what I had for lunch during my first week of being back to work. Excuse the low quality cell phone pictures :)

Day 1: green salad with carrots and chicken, apple slices, blueberries, crackers, and home made energy balls. 

Day 2: leftover lasagna, yogurt with blueberries, a kiwi, and energy balls.

Day 3: cheese/cream cheese roll up, left over pulled pork with bbq sauce, carrots, radishes, snap peas, blueberries, a kiwi, and energy balls.

Day 4: leftover chicken Marsala over rice, carrots, snap peas, a kiwi, blueberries, and energy balls.  

Day 5: fried rice with egg, snap peas, apple slices, blueberries, carrots, and energy balls. 

What's your favorite thing to eat for lunch? 

Making Pumping at Work Work

It’s my second week back to work and I’m so relieved how well pumping at work is going so far. I struggled with keeping it up with Noah and we started supplementing with formula about two months after I had gone back to work. I don’t regret that decision at all and I have an even more relaxed attitude about it now. I’ll pump as long as I feel good about it, but the moment it becomes stressful, I will slow down and supplement with formula. My sanity is simply higher up on my priority list. In a perfect world I would breastfeed exclusively, but as I have previously said, it’s more important to me not to be stressed out about it than to avoid formula at all cost. I already am under enough pressure as it is, and exclusively breastfeeding is simply something that’s not the highest on my priority list (anymore). Having said that, I’m really glad (and care more than I thought I would, to the point where I feel proud at the end of the day) that it has been going so smoothly. 

My daily schedule now looks something like this: My alarm goes off at 4:50am, I hit snooze once, then get up at 5am. I get dressed, brush my teeth, make a cup of coffee and breakfast to go, grab my lunch out of the fridge (yes, I’ve been making my lunch every single day so far!), and pump. Ava usually nurses at around 4am, so by 5:30am I pump about 3oz which go straight into the freezer (yay!). I leave the house between 5:45am and 6am and get to work just before 7am. 

Noah and my Adventures with the Baby in her Moby Wrap (aka Maternity Leave)

I have mixed feelings about my maternity leave coming to an end. I have done this before and I know we'll get back into a routine quickly and I'll enjoy having adult conversations and getting back in touch with my "professional" self, but I wish I had even more time. I know I'll miss the kids, especially Noah. But I know I shouldn't complain. Four months is a very generous leave that most families can't afford and I'm truly thankful for the time I've had. 

Becoming a Big Brother

Besides my "a day in our life" story I haven't really talked about what it's like to be a family of four. In part, because there are so many different aspects to it and I wasn't quite sure where to start. So I'll break it up in pieces and start with the brother/sister relationship, how Noah has reacted to becoming a big brother, and what we're doing to prevent conflicts. 

First off, Noah loves being a big brother. He is so proud when Ava and I pick him up from daycare and he can tell all the other kids (who are always so excited to see baby Ava) that she is his little sister. Even though they already know that; he has told them what feels like a million times. 

In the mornings Ava usually wakes up while or after Noah and I eat breakfast. We'll hear her "talk" in our bedroom and every single day, Noah drops what he's doing, looks at me and says with a big smile on his face: "Ava is awake! Shall we go get her?" So we hop in bed with her and the three of us cuddle a bit. Those are by far my favorite moments. There's never any jealousy involved, we just hang out and talk and snuggle. Earlier this week, Noah laid down next to her, took her hand and asked me: "Do you want to take a picture?" So I grab my phone and he says to Ava: "Can you say cheese? No, not at me! At mommy!" The picture didn't turn out very well but it was such a precious moment. 

It hasn't always been this peaceful though. The first few days after we brought her home, there was just more tension in the house. I wouldn't say he was jealous or had any negative emotions toward his new baby sister; it was just that he knew everything had just changed and there was a new dynamic in the house. So for a few days he was emotional, quick to throw a mini tantrum or cry, eager to test boundaries, and very clingy. We of course had expected some of this and decided while I would take care of Ava, Tony would be 100% there for Noah. That worked well. Noah has always been a daddy's boy and while he didn't mind so much when I held her, whenever Tony had her, he immediately wanted up as well. We just let that happen and gave him whatever he needed to feel reassured that he was still loved just as much. When my mom came to visit when Ava was just ten days old, it was clear just from the look on Noah's face, that he did not want my mom to hold her. So she waited a bit, paid attention to him, looked at books she had brought for him, and then held Ava only after it was settled that she was here to see Noah (too). Moments like this I think were so important for him, just to know that the grown ups in his life hadn't abandoned him. 

I had also got Noah a book "from Ava" about the life of a sea otter which I thought would be great to use to talk about babies needing their mommies, but Noah wanted nothing to do with it. And if you know Noah you know that's a big deal - he has never said no to a book. I wasn't going to force anything on him though, so I let it go. I didn't want it to seem like I was putting pressure on him to be excited about his new baby sister. 

I'm not sure anymore how long it took, but I don't think it was more than a week or two before things settled down and there really haven't been any difficult moments since. 

Here are some things that I had read about while I was still pregnant that we have used in an effort to prevent conflict:

Stick with big brother's normal routine as much as possible. Noah still went to daycare for the first two months after Ava was born (except for when family was visiting). The concern was that he would feel like we're sending him off to daycare while we hang out with the new baby, but I think it was actually really good for him to know that not everything had suddenly changed. He had fun at school during the day and we could tackle evenings as a team. Even though I recovered super quickly, it would have still required a lot of energy to keep everyone happy and I was glad to have those days to just focus on the baby. It was difficult to maintain our routine of having dinner together every evening with a new baby who was not yet on a schedule and likely to be hungry two minutes into our meal, but I would just feed her at the dinner table so Noah wouldn't think it would be okay to get up and run around. It wasn't ideal, but it worked, and now, almost four months later, this isn't an issue anymore. 

Involve him, but don't treat him just as the big brother. This resonated with me when I read this on a blog somewhere so I've been really careful to treat Noah as his own person, and not have his identity be independent on him being a good big brother. For example, it's his job to throw away his own diaper after a diaper change, but I don't make him throw away Ava's ("come on, be a good big brother and throw away her diaper"). However, I'll ask him sometimes if he'd do me the favor and he usually will, but I don't want him to feel like he has to do things for her. Similarly, I don't connect his misbehavior with his role as being a big brother. For example, I would never say: "be a good big brother and throw away your (own) diaper". One thing clearly has nothing to do with the other. I just don't want him to feel like being a big brother might not be fun and then potentially let it out on baby sister. This doesn't mean I don't ever comment on him being a good big brother when appropriate, for example when he's being extra sweet to his baby sister by kissing her or letting me know when she's crying. 

At the same time, I've always involved him in and talked to him about feeding Ava, why she cries, picking out outfits, and changing her. He's old enough to understand most of these things and can be reasoned with. But even if he was younger I think just the fact that he gets the feeling that I'm completely open and honest with him and don't try to exclude him in any way is extremely important for him. 

Take care of the older child first. I think this is such a good rule. When both children are upset, take care of the older one first. The baby won't remember that she had to wait five minutes to get her diaper changed, but big brother will if he always comes second and has to wait. At the same time, often Ava's crying will upset Noah too much for him to settle down himself, so my only option is to get her to stop crying first and then to tend to his needs. I also like to use this little trick: I'll tell Ava (loud and clear so that Noah can hear) that she needs to wait (whether or not she is upset) because I'm taking care of Noah (for example: "I know, Ava, you're hungry, but earlier, when you needed your diaper changed, Noah had to wait. Now it's Noah's turn. When I'm done getting him dressed I'll feed you"). 

Make time for one on one time. While it may be hard especially in the beginning, Tony and I both try to spend some quality alone time with Noah. It can be as simple as playing a game or puzzle while Ava is sleeping or going to the grocery store. One of my favorite things to do was to take Noah out to dinner while Ava and Tony stayed home. He felt like such a big boy and had the most serious conversation with me it made me laugh, and it was great for me to get out of the house and away from the baby who was otherwise attached to my body all day and night. 

Who knows if any of these things really helped or if Noah would have just adjusted so well to being a big brother regardless. I think as always, it's important to know your child, and to keep an open mind. One of the other things that has always been on my mind is my mom saying: don't be so afraid of this sibling rivalry that you're creating an issue where there normally wouldn't be one. And maybe that's true. For the most part we've treated this whole transition as a very exciting but normal thing and adjusting along the way. And then when Noah randomly exclaims "I love Ava!" and gives her a kiss, I'm glad to know it seems to all have worked out pretty well so far. 

What's in my (diaper) bag?

I pride myself in not lugging around a huge diaper bag everywhere I go with a 2 1/2 year old and a 3 month old. There are really only a few necessities I need for me and the kids and I love that I can make it all fit in a normal purse even though I typically carry it all in my small Eddie Bauer backpack. It helps to have two free hands when you have a toddler running around and a baby strapped to you in a baby carrier. Plus, it looks good on Tony too :)

So, here's what's in my bag: 

Tumble Leaf and Other Favorite Toddler TV Shows

Screen time is such a hot topic. We avoided it for a long time, following the recommendation of no screen time before the age of two, and still limit how much screen time Noah gets, but I no longer feel guilty about letting him watch a TV show or play on my phone or tablet as long as it's high quality content. 

A day in the life of...

People often ask what my life looks like now that I am spending three days a week alone with the kids while I'm still on maternity leave. So I thought I'd document what a typical day for us looks like. This day was almost four weeks ago when Ava was 2 months old. While this was a typical day in many ways, Ava now is awake a lot longer during the day, doesn't nearly eat as many snacks as she used to (mainly because I put a stop to it because it made neither of us happy), and she goes to sleep at a reasonable time. 

7:00 am: Noah who came into bed with us last night wakes up, so our day begins. Tony has already left for work. Ava (also in bed with me) starts to wiggle too so I feed her hoping she'll stay asleep a bit longer. Noah and I talk and cuddle in bed. 

7:20 am: Noah and I get up, Noah opens his advent calendar and I start making breakfast. Noah eats. 

Noah's breakfast: bagel with cream cheese, grapes, and a banana