Friday, June 23, 2017

Levi's Birth Story

Read Noah's birth story here and Ava's birth story here (part 1) and here (part 2). 

Earlier this week, I had my postpartum appointment with my midwife at the Providence Pavilion for Women and Children, the same place I had given birth to all three of my kids and where I had come for almost all of my appointments during my pregnancies, the place where I began my journey of becoming a mother in 2012, not knowing what to expect and insecure in so many ways, where I developed confidence as an expecting mother during my second pregnancy, where I found the wonderfully supportive group of midwives, and the place where I could focus for a moment on nothing but the baby inside of me at a time when life was insanely busy with work, a house, a husband, and two kids. As I was hugging my midwife goodbye and leaving the building, seeing nervously happy new dads walking in with infant car seats, I was closing this chapter. As hard as it was sometimes, I have had wonderful pregnancies and birth experiences and it felt strange knowing that I wouldn't be coming back to this place.



We had still been debating whether we would want to bring another child into our family and if so, what a good time would be both emotionally and financially, when we found out we were pregnant again. One day at work, after I found myself sneaking into the snack room every hour or so, I made a comment to a friend and co-worker: "If I didn't know better, I'd think I'm pregnant again considering how much I'm snacking today." It was a completely innocent comment - I would have never said this at work if I had thought there was a chance I was pregnant. Still, I couldn't get the idea out of my mind all day and got annoyed with where my thoughts kept going, so that evening I decided to take a pregnancy test to confirm that I wasn't pregnant so I could shut up the 'what ifs' in my head. I truly did not expect it to be positive. I don't remember exactly what I all felt, tons of different feelings for sure, but I remember being very matter of fact about it. I knew what this meant, I already had two kids so it wasn't like this would completely change our lives like it does when you have your first or even a second. I was nervous because Ava was still so young - we hadn't even celebrated her first birthday yet, and Tony and I had agreed that if we were to have another, we would wait until Noah was in Kindergarten to avoid the cost of three in daycare. But I was also excited, in part because this meant that we didn't have to have that one big conversation, we didn't have to make a decision where there's always the potential for one or both to feel like they had to compromise or give something up. I'm really glad it all turned out the way it did, like it was meant to be. Tony also took the news in a very matter of fact way. As soon as he got out of the shower that evening I showed him the positive test, he looked at me to confirm this wasn't some weird joke, and then simply said: "OK!" as in, okay, I guess we're having a third! For him too, the excitement came later, after we had thought through the logistics of what this baby would mean for us and we had began to wrap our heads around the fact that we were pregnant again.

The reason I'm mentioning all of this is: because it was such a surprise, we weren't sure what the due date would be. At first, we estimated it to be at the end of May until the 20 week anatomy scan results showed a due date of May 11 based on the baby's size. I had a conversation with my midwives to let them know that I had no interest in an induction if we went two weeks past this new due date considering it wasn't necessarily very accurate. I was still convinced that the baby would show up a week or two after the new due date, also because my other two were late. So I marked April 14 as my last day at work and got excited for a four week long prepartum leave where I could focus on nothing but the new baby. It was great not having to worry about organizing baby clothes, setting up the crib, buying diapers, etc. until I was on leave. 

On Friday, April 28, two weeks before our new due date and only two weeks into my leave, I was out and about, thinking the baby wouldn't show up until two or three weeks later. I met a friend for lunch and Tony and I went on a spontaneous mini golf date after he came home from work. The next morning, we set up the crib in our bedroom and I had plans to meet another friend for coffee that afternoon. And this is where we finally get to the part of the story where Levi makes his big entrance...

At 3:00 pm on April 29, I pulled into a parking spot in downtown Snohomish where I would meet my friend who was driving up from Seattle and was running a few minutes behind. As I sat in my car waiting, I felt like I was leaking. Even though I had never experienced my water break until I was already in active labor, I knew exactly what just had happened. Considering how quickly my labors had been, I knew we had to get to the hospital right away. Tony was at home with the kids, so I called my friend who was on her way to come meet me at our house instead. I then called Tony to let him know what was going on and listed a few things I wanted him to grab. Of course I hadn't packed a hospital bag yet. He turned on the TV for the kids and packed a bag. I then called another friend whose house we had planned to send the kids to when I would go into labor. Thankfully they were home and hadn't left for their trip to Germany yet which was coming up a few days later. He got right into his car and drove over to our house. When I got home I was extremely nervous but calm at the same time. I was in execution mode with only one goal: to have this baby at the hospital. We left the kids with my friend who had come up from Seattle and left for the hospital. Ten minutes or so later, our friend who the kids know well and trust arrived, packed a few things for the kids, cleaned up a bit (!) and took the kids to their house. Noah was excited to go over to his best friend's house and had no clue what was going on. I was so glad I knew the kids to be in the best hands and I didn't have to worry or think about them at all and could be completely focused on me and this baby. 

On the way to the hospital I texted my family letting them know what was going on and we arrived at around 3:35 pm. I went to check in with security while Tony parked the car, but they sent me right upstairs into triage. Tony joined me a couple of minutes later as I was checking in. As I was giving them my information I saw my midwife Lizzie who had been seeing me for most of my appointments - I was so relieved to see her, but at the same time, that was the moment when my emotions caught up with me and it hit me that  labor was about to kick off and I was about to have painful contractions. They asked if I wanted to get an IV in triage but I wanted to go upstairs to the delivery room right away, starting to feel some minor contractions and knowing that labor typically progressed very quickly for me. 

Once in the room, contractions started to become a bit more intense and I took breaks from answering form questions and talking about my previous birth experiences to focus on my breathing. It wasn't very painful yet, but I started to have flash backs and knowing what was about to come made me super nervous. I knew that it wouldn't take long for things to get serious but everyone around me was super calm. I still don't know if it was - as they assured me - because they are the professionals and it's their job to be calm, or because they didn't think this baby would be born in less than an hour. At my postpartum appointment, my midwife mentioned that they thought "we were just hanging out, when all of the sudden the baby came". 

During contractions I focused on what I had learned during my previous labor experiences: my most comfortable position was standing up, so we raised the bed so I could lean over it, and I knew that the best thing I could do, as scary as it is, was to accept the pain, and let my body do the work. It was so difficult to relax my body, but my midwife applied some pressure on my lower back and everyone in the room was quiet and let me focus on myself, which was exactly what I needed. My midwife suggested I slightly change my position, leaning forward a bit more, and I felt the baby find his way. As with Ava, I didn't push at all and I wasn't surprised at all when my midwife said she could feel his head. During only one contraction, he found his way out and was born at 4:38 pm. One of the nurses handed me the baby right away before I had had a chance to catch my breath. It was beautiful and I was instantly amazed how much he looked like his older siblings. 


Everyone helped me turn around and lay down, Levi on my chest. Right away, I delivered my placenta and then it was over. I could relax and breathe and smell my baby. Levi, I always think like a little animal, started rooting towards my breast right away and started to nurse. I know it's not that easy for everyone, but I'm always amazed at nature and how these tiny beings know what to do the minute they're born. 

Everything had happened so quickly once again, but because I hadn't expected it to happen that day at all, I felt even more so like I needed a moment to catch up to the fact that our sweet little baby had just been born. Once we were all cuddled in and cleaned up, Tony left to pick up the kids, and Levi and I took our first nap together. I had heavier bleeding than my midwife would have liked so they gave me a shot and pills to help stop the bleeding. In hindsight, we shouldn't have brought Noah and Ava over until the next day, but we were way too excited. By the time they arrived with pizza it was already evening and they were ready to go to bed after a long day. This is I think when Tony noticed how exhausted he was after everything. He too hadn't had a chance to catch his breath and relax since my phone call at 3 pm. Tony's brother had come over from Eastern Washington when he heard the baby was coming and we were both glad he was there to help with the kids. They all left again after a short visit. 


The next morning, my friend who had been watching the kids the day before came over with coffee and croissants and we talked about how perfect everything had worked out. I thought back to the day about 19 months earlier when I had visited her at the same hospital after her second baby was born - four days before Ava would make her way into this world. Soon after, Tony, his brother, and the kids showed up again and Noah and Ava finally got to really meet their new baby brother. Noah had a million questions about everything and Ava fell instantly in love with him. Everything was perfect. 

my babies and I

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