I am a Runner

Ten weeks ago, I ran my very first 5K. And I actually did pretty well. It’s not that I have never been an active person – I love hiking and walking, and tried different sports as a teenager. But I never stuck with anything and consequently was never really good at any of it. Including running. Tony and I tried to go running together years ago when we were both still in college. Years later, I remember how I felt: always a step behind, not being able to focus on my own pace, rhythm, and breathing, distracted by Tony’s pace. I couldn’t relax and that made running just impossible. So I never really gave it another serious try. I just accepted the fact that I wasn’t the running kind.

Then, a few months ago, Tony decided to get back in shape for his Hood to Coast run. He had started running on the treadmill while was in Germany in May, and when Noah and I came back, spring had just arrived, and I decided to give running another try. Thankfully we live in a quiet area just outside of town where we can just head out the door and start running.

The first few times we went running together, Tony was way faster than me even though he was pushing the stroller. I was so surprised at how calm I was, that I didn’t care about being slow, how I was able to focus on my breathing, my own rhythm, my pace. It just felt great and it didn’t matter that it was exhausting. I was excited about how much fun this whole thing was.

 

So we’ve been running regularly, completed our first 5K as a family (I pushed the stroller for that one so Tony could get in a better time), and last Saturday, completed our first 10K. I finished in less than an hour (56:12 to be exact) and am so proud of myself.

So what has changed? Why do I consider myself a runner these days when a few years ago I was convinced that any type of sport just wasn’t for me?

Part of it is my confidence. I’m not the same person I was a few years ago. I’m just more comfortable in my own skin, with my job, my life, my role as Noah’s mom. I’ve grown up and like who I am, most of the time, which hasn’t always been the case. Another big part of it is that it’s something that Tony, Noah, and I can do together and it doesn’t involve much. We just get out of the house and start running. You would think it sounds hard to get up and do it after a long day at work but it’s so much easier than entertaining a one year old who is (understandably) getting cranky after a long day and needs a lot of attention. Plus, it turned out to be a great way to wind down and get my mind off of things for 40 minutes. On top of it, I get so much positive energy out of it.

  

I have good runs and bad runs. The bad runs aren’t much fun. I can’t get into the groove, have to stop more often to walk a bit, and I can’t seem to let loose and focus too much on my steps/my breathing/how slow I am. And no, it doesn’t feel good at the end of it when the endorphins don’t kick in but you still feel exhausted. It makes it hard to get excited for the next run. But then I do it anyway. I go running again. Not expecting much. And then it happens, I run faster than I ever have, and the endorphins do kick in and I feel great, and I’m enjoying every moment, and I push myself a little harder and run a little faster, knowing I can do it and so proud of myself because I never thought I had it in me. Those are the runs I remember; the not-so-good ones don’t matter. Those are not the ones that keep me going. I go running so I can get back to that happy moment, the look-at-me-I-kick-ass moment. If there’s a bad one in there, so be it, I know I’m capable and I’ll just try again next time.
 

I hope I’ll be able to stick with it during fall and winter. It’s still dark these days when I leave in the morning and it won’t be much longer until it’s dark when I come home in the afternoon. I will give the treadmill a try, I’m sure, but since that’s not something we can all do together I don’t have high hopes that I will use it regularly. We’ll see, maybe I’ll just make it a weekend thing. One run a week is better than none, right? What are your tips for staying active during the rainy season that doesn’t involve a gym membership?