My Pregnancy Centering Group

In my last post I shared why I decided to ditch my previous doctor in favor of a midwife. My first appointment was awesome – in one session she was able to make me so much more comfortable with the idea of having to go to regular pregnancy checkups again which was a big part for me in not being super excited about being pregnant again. At the end of the appointment she told me I had two options on how to receive care through the midwife program: I could either meet with one of the midwives for each of my appointments where I would get all the care I needed and could discuss any questions I would have. The other option was signing up for a midwife centering group, where I would be grouped together with other pregnant woman who all have a due date around the same time. We would meet every four weeks for a two hour long session with a midwife and discuss whatever topics were relevant during our stage of our pregnancy. I was immediately on board when she mentioned it. 

A connection with other moms and sharing thoughts and fears with other parents to be that are in similar positions is what I felt I had been missing during my first pregnancy. I got a lot of great information on the internet and even feel like I got to know some of the blogger moms through their stories, but it’s not quite the same as discussing real life questions in a group setting. The other part that I liked about it is that it is even further away from the doctor type pure medical care I received when I was pregnant with Noah. No waiting in waiting rooms, no nurses, no doctor’s office, but instead a Monday evening group session in a conference room. It sounded like treating a pregnancy like a journey for a group of expecting moms to go through together rather than a medical issue which in my opinion it really isn’t unless there are complications. Finally, I decided this was right for me because I feel like I have things to share. Having gone through it once before and having done a lot of reading, writing, thinking, and talking on the topic of becoming a mom, I think I have valuable thoughts and perspective to offer. I liked the idea of passing on some of my experiences and sharing my thoughts with first time moms, just as I wish I had had someone like that around during my first pregnancy to put things into perspective for me. 

Here are some of the benefits generally quoted as benefits of centering groups: 

1. More time with the group/provider

Instead of the average 10-15 minute visit at the doctor’s office, patients get two hours of care every month in the beginning of the pregnancy; later it will increase to more frequent visits.

2. Empowerment

Women are empowered to take their health into their own hands. At the beginning of each session every patient measures their own blood pressure and weight and marks it down in a chart. The idea is for women not just to be told if their numbers look good, but to learn what is normal for their bodies and what to look for. Having discussions in a group setting also empowers women to make up their own minds about what is right for them and their families rather than blindly listening to doctor’s advice. Of course, many women are already doing that and I think this is one of the great things about the internet – people aren’t afraid to tell true stories, sometimes anonymously, and the amount of information that’s available is just mind-blowing. At the same time, not all women have these resources and bringing people together from different economic and cultural backgrounds to discuss the things everyone has in common can have a tremendous positive effect especially on the underprivileged women in the group. 

3. Healthier Babies

Studies have found that the group model results in higher birth weight and that 90% of women decide to breastfeed. 

4. Increases educational opportunities 

The setting is really not a class type environment where the health care provider lectures on various aspects. There are guided topics that range from nutrition, exercise, and managing stress and common discomforts during pregnancy, to breastfeeding, domestic violence, and of course the birthing experience. Providers are there to guide a conversation around those topics, but the women (and their partners) themselves are the ones actually participating in the discussion. I can imagine that information coming from peers sticks with people much better than comments that a doctor makes during a short visit. It also offers a chance for women to listen in to conversations around other participants’ questions they maybe would have been afraid to ask themselves or hadn’t even considered. 

5. Support and friendship from other women

Apparently many women still get together after their babies are born. We all know the whole experience doesn’t end with giving birth, that’s where it all really begins. This is just a great way to meet people you may have otherwise never met that can offer encouragement and support during pregnancy and beyond. 

So far I have had three meetings with my group and even though I have mixed feelings about it, I don’t regret my choice at all. I like the midwife who is assigned to our group though she is not the same I had met at my first appointment. Consistency is great and it’s super important for the provider who leads the group to actually get to know everyone, but it would also be nice to meet some of the other midwives. Again, you never know who is on call when baby decides to show up. The setting is very relaxed. I chose a Monday 5-7pm group so I head there right after work. 

For my first meeting, my sister was still here to visit so Tony came with me, but I’ve been going by myself since then since older siblings are not allowed and Tony doesn’t get enough out of it for it to justify making arrangements with a babysitter. All the other women in the group almost always bring their partners which I think is great. I would have definitely dragged Tony along if this was our first (and he did go to all of our appointments when we were pregnant with Noah and hasn’t missed any ultrasounds with baby #2). After I arrive I weigh myself, take my blood pressure, and write everything down in my chart as well as my book that we use during the session. I grab my name tag, say hi to everyone, and settle in. While everyone is arriving, chatting, and weighing in, we each get a few minutes with our midwife in private behind a curtain. She checks my chart, listens to the baby’s heartbeat, measures my belly, and addresses any questions I may have and don’t want to ask in front of the group. 

Our group is pretty diverse in many ways. Some of the women are much younger than me, some have careers, others “just” “jobs”, others don’t work at all currently. Some have tight schedules, others seem to be pretty flexible. The same is true for their partners. Interestingly, we’ve never actually talked about what we each do or what our daily schedules look like, but some things just come up in conversation and some women have been more open in sharing things like this. My role in the group is definitely unique as everyone else is expecting their first child and many comments are a reminder of how different life has become since my first pregnancy. It’s so interesting to listen to some of the discussions we have, for example around methods to relieve stress. Almost everyone said they take naps or sleep in to relax. What a luxury! I remember going to bed early many nights and taking long naps on weekends when I was pregnant with Noah. Oh how things change! I’m not any less exhausted, but sleeping as much just isn’t an option. 

One thing I’m not too excited about is that a lot of the topics we discuss are common sense, I’ve already figured out, or are just meant to be group building exercises. That can lead to conversations where not everyone is engaged, and it’s just not fast paced enough for me. For example, I didn’t really need to have an hour long discussion about nutrition and healthy food choices, but of course others may have found it helpful. 

Another thing that bothers me a bit is that the topics aren’t all patient oriented. Now that we are all further along, we are getting to some more interesting topics, but I’m not sure anyone found the first two sessions really helpful and it didn’t help that we were all still in our first trimester, dealing with lack of energy and therefore not exactly the most active bunch. I get that it’s a challenge to bring everyone on the same page and some may have already done more research on specific topics than others but I get the feeling that this course doesn’t take into account that we all have so much information right at our fingertips 24/7. If I for example experience morning sickness or forgot again which types of fish are safe for me to eat, I don’t need to wait to consult my doctor – I Google it! I’m obviously not trying to say the internet has all the answers or that there aren’t things that should be discussed with a professional in the field, but I think it’s safe to assume that many of us have tried to find answers to questions and concerns that come up during pregnancy before discussing it with our provider. And I think that should influence the structure of the session plan or at least the depth of the discussion we have on various topics. 

The other issue with a set session plan where specific topics are planned for each meeting became obvious during our last session. When our midwife mentioned we could all write down random questions on a board at the beginning of each session which we would then later discuss, one mom to be who had clearly just been waiting for a chance to ask this question, jumped right on it by saying “I actually have a question. I want to talk about giving birth. I’d like to have a natural birth but don’t know if I can do it.” I thought this was a great example and I think everyone loved her in that moment for bringing up the topic that is on everyone’s minds, mine included even though I’ve done it once before. I do get why this topic is scheduled for later sessions, but at the same time, if that sparks a great discussion, why not just go for it and talk about it? So, when she addressed me directly, asking if I could share my experience since I was the only one in the room who had given birth before, I didn’t hesitate and shared my story. I’m not sure our midwife was happy that we hijacked the session, but I could tell everyone else was also now paying attention closely. The midwife also made sure to call out after I had shared my experience that “that’s not a very typical birth experience” to which I responded: but that’s the point of sharing these stories. There is no one typical textbook like experience and the best thing you can do is be prepared for eventualities. An open mind about how things may go is so important I think. 

Anyway, the reason I mentioned this is because it is such a good example for why I don’t regret one bit my choice to do the centering group. Even if I don’t get a lot of new information out of it, I feel like I have something to offer for the group and these new moms. Sharing real life experiences and just voicing a different opinion every once in a while I think can have a huge impact. Again, when I was pregnant with my first I wish I had had a group of women who could discuss topics around childbirth in an open setting and it makes me happy that I can now contribute to one. And who knows, maybe this group will even stick together for a while after the babies are born.